


Beauty and Pain

by TourmalineQueen



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, Headcanon, dragon age prompt fest fill, friendship fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2015-01-09
Packaged: 2018-03-06 20:44:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3148001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TourmalineQueen/pseuds/TourmalineQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody wants to be told they're not attractive enough to do something, least of all in front of their crush</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beauty and Pain

"Don't you want to look _beautiful_?" Josephine asked pleadingly stepping slowly towards Amber, even as Leliana circled around behind the Inquisitor, instruments of torture in hand. "You could have the Orlesian Court wrapped around your little finger with just some small adjustments to your appearance! Would you not prefer to be admired?"

"Than what? I already wore your damn clothes, washed my damn hair - and if I die of 'flu after getting my head wet under the _heathen sky_ I _will_ kill you - isn't that enough?" Amber retorted, swinging and ducking to avoid Leliana's grasp.

"But not the shoes," Leliana pouted.

"These ones I'm wearing? You see them? They _don't hurt me_ ," Amber Cadash pointed out, swiftly reaching the end of her tether with this, "early war council meeting my arse!"

Leli and Josie let the rebellious muttering pass. "But Amber, these new shoes, they are so beautiful. Won't you try them with your outfit?"

"I did and they _hurt_. I'll wear these boots that I can walk in - creased leather, mudstains and all, and the damn Orlesians will just have to man up and deal with it," Amber snarled, glaring at Leliana, who looked heartbroken.

"Don't insult the shoes! They did nothing wrong!" Leliana drew back and held the shoes up like one might a pet that was being shouted at for being a pet.

"They fit wrong," Amber pointed out, just on principle. "And what other torments do you have planned for me? What's _that_ for?"

Amber was pointing at a small pot sitting on the War Table, with its contents bubbling away merrily as it heated over a candle.

"That, my dear Inquisitor is for your beard. You will not be respected by the Orlesian court if you are the hairiest one there," Josephine said in that reasonable tone of voice that made Amber Cadash want to squirm like a Duster in the Diamond Quarter - which, in a sense, she was.

"Wh-what? What will that do to my beard? Do you know how hard it is to grow a beard on the surface?" Amber started moving back towards the door.

"It's just a little wax, Inquisitor. It will only hurt for a short while," Leliana said, hands upraised in a placating gesture.

" _ **Wax** _?" Amber yelped, eyes wide as saucers now trained on the unassuming little pot and the strips of cloth beside it. "Can't I shave?" Amber begged quietly.__

__"And risk it growing back, or getting those unsightly bumps under your skin? Absolutely not!" Leliana and Josephine were in complete agreement._ _

__Amber kept backing away until she felt the door at her back, which opened to admit a puzzled Commander Cullen. "Hullo ladies, er, am I late?"_ _

__"The three of us started early," Leliana said with a quick smile._ _

__"They wanted to _torture_ me!" Amber wailed._ _

__Cullen winced at the shrillness and blinked as her words sank in. "Torture?"_ _

__Leliana pffted and waved the claim off dismissively. Josephine actually explained. "We just wanted to prepare the Inquisitor for Orlais, and make her more beautiful, more... more _aspirational_!"_ _

__Amber, still planted squarely in front of both Cullen and the door, actually cringed. "Why. Would. You. Say. _That_? In front of _him_?"_ _

__The Inquisitor, the Dwarven, sensible, unflappable, and fearless Inquisitor dodged around Cullen and fled the building._ _

__"Does this mean the meeting's over?" Cullen asked, deciding there-and-then that he had no desire to know more about what had transpired in his absence than was absolutely necessary._ _

__"We'll reschedule," Leliana and Josephine murmured in unison._ _

__*-*-*_ _

__It was actually Varric who found Inquisitor Cadash, hours later, curled up in a tiny alcove in the cellar._ _

__"Inquisitor," he greeted her the same way he always did, although they had never met while she was hiding underground in a disused cellar. "Mind if I join you?"_ _

__Amber shrugged. She supposed if anyone was going to find her, it was better it be another Dwarf than her earlier tormentors, or Ancestors forbid _Cullen_. "'f y'like."_ _

__Varric leaned back against the wall and slid down. "So this is cosy," he said._ _

__"I missed the Stone," she replied tersely._ _

__"Mm-hm," grunted non-commitally._ _

__"Th-they say you lose your Stone sense if you're on the surface too long," she said, hating that she sounded defensive._ _

__"That they do. I wouldn't know. Never even set foot in Orzammar, and the times I went to the Deep Roads... Let's just say I'm glad I'm a Surface Dwarf. How long have you been holed up in here looking for the Stone?"_ _

__Amber shrugged. "Can't be sure. Less'n a day. See? I'm losing my Stone sense."_ _

__"Sounded like someone lost their common sense, this morning," Varric said conversationally. Amber tensed. "I mean, really, what was Leli thinking? And Josephine, too. Must be something in the water to make 'em both try to pull that stunt with you."_ _

__"They wanted me to be " _beautiful_ "," Amber sneered. "As if a Duster like me could be beautiful by _human_ standards. And then they said it in front of- er, I mean they undermined my authority before C-Commander Cullen."_ _

__"Paragon Brosca got the King of Ferelden, and she was as casteless as we two," Varric pointed out, very carefully not mentioning what Amber desperately did not want mentioned aloud._ _

__Amber barked out a bitter laugh. "I'm no Paragon Brosca, I'm just a Carta thug with a funny green thing on my hand. And anyway, even if King What's-his-face likes Dwarva women, doesn't mean all Ferelden men do. And even though - _if_ \- he's - er, _they_ 're interested in me or not - according to Josie and Leli, I'm not _attractive_ enough to do this Inquisitor thing in Orlais." She grunted. "Nobody ever told me I wasn't pretty enough to do a job before."_ _

__Varric winced, and turned to look her in the eye. "They said that?"_ _

__"Not in so many words, but yeah, pretty much."_ _

__Varric whistled through his teeth. "No wonder you went looking for the Stone."_ _

__"They can find someone else with a green thing on their hand if they think I'm waxing my beard off," Amber growled mutinously._ _

__Varric's eyebrows rose. "I heard Hawke say once that Beauty was Pain, but I had _no idea_ it was _that_ painful."_ _

__"It is pain and it is _ **a**_ pain. And I can't even begin to imagine what he thinks of me. I ran like a nug from a skillet."_ _

__"If he knew what they had planned, I'm sure he'd approve of a tactical retreat."_ _

__"Yeah, well. Y'won't tell them where I am?"_ _

__"Maker, no! Your secrets are safe with me, Inquisitor."_ _

__*-*-*_ _


End file.
